Citing multiple meanings to one word as well as nuances or implied meanings, Non-English speakers often categorize English as one of the most difficult languages to learn. Take the word restraint, for example what does it really mean? Well, depends on the setting or circumstance.
In healthcare, a restraint may be a straitjacket to restrict the movements of a violent patient or to keep a frail, demented patient from crawling out of bed. It can be chemical, a sedative, offering protecting after a delicate surgery. For parents it’s the car seat restricting the movement of a child; for the battered spouse it’s the law setting geographic boundaries the abuser may not cross. Governments exercise restraint by ensuring diplomacy trumps aggression so war is not the inevitable result of all conflicts.
This however, is far from the end of the story on restraint. Romans chapter 14 portrays yet another level of meaning – spiritual restraint powered by agape love. Surely it is no accident that a-gape means wide open and agape‘s very life force is self-sacrifice. Jesus best epitomizes this kind of love and by his empowerment; Christ followers are admonished to practice the same kind of love, from which restraint inevitably flows.
But to get to yet another shade of meaning, i.e. exercising restraint or a conscious call to be ever aware how our words and actions affect those around us. The Apostle Paul zeroed in on the question of the new freedoms Christ-followers were exercising in the area of dietary laws and communal association. Many Jews were taking quite literal Jesus’ words that one is defiled by what comes out of the heart as expressed by words and actions, versus what one eats. Others believed the Jewish dietary laws were to be held inviolate and struggled to accept Christians as “real believers” if they ate foods that had always been forbidden.
Paul called the believers to exercise restraint because of love. He said, “If you are hurting others by the foods you eat, you are not guided by love. Don’t let your appetite destroy someone Christ died for (Roman 14:15, Contemporary English Bible). Let’s take this a little further and ask, what about words? What if we changed that text to read, (If you are hurting others by the [words you speak], you are not guided by love. Don’t let your [words] destroy someone Christ died for? Think about that for a moment. I may be able to shrug off deep hurts caused by cutting words. But what about the person on whom I want to unload a verbal barrage? How might their life be affected by my words, and for how long?
Do I have the right to knowingly so injure someone for whom Christ died?
My best definition of restraint today would include words like: an object, a protective device, a law, or a behavior employed for the protection and wellbeing of another. I better make sure I have mine on today. What about you?
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