Monday, November 17, 2014

A Bridge Too Far

Christians are often chastised for being known more for what they are against rather than what they embrace. The complaint stems from the belief Christians are supposed to bridge the gap between various ways of living by simply showing the love of Christ.
Does this mean compromising our beliefs in order to win acceptance? What exactly should this bridge look like today?
I listened as a lone woman from Ohio cried out against the desecration of one of our nation's foremost cathedrals. I listened in horror as she was forcibly evicted from the sanctuary so the ceremony to offer prayers to another god could continue.
Where were our so-called Christian senators and congressmen/women? What will it take for the Church to see that any bridge that allows for the casual disregard of the claims of Jesus is a violation of our Faith? This is not about politics;  it's about standing for Christ.
Exalting any other name above Christ's, in the house dedicated to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, is a bridge too far. In the words of Scripture,  "the end thereof is then way of death."

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Defining Friendship

Yesterday I remembered I never did post something from "Praying" by J.I. Packer and  Carolyn Nystrom. By far, this is the most important book I have read this year. And I would say if you are serious about understanding and deepening your prayer life, you should add this book to your list.

The authors quote James M. Houston who referenced Aelred, "On Friendship, in the Love of God."
"A friend is a push when you have stopped, a word when you are lonely, a guide when you are searching, a smile when you are sad and a song when you are glad. A human spiritual friend is one who is loyal and has right motives, discretion, and patience in order to help [that] friend know God better. I need a spiritual guide to keep me honest...A true friend in Christ will wake me up, help me grow, and deepen my awareness of God."

After reading the definition I tried applying the description to some people who have been in my life. I quickly concluded I might have used the word a little too freely. Even worse, I quickly realized the countless times I have fallen short of being the friend I could have been.

Whether you are on the giving or the receiving end of a less than perfect friendship, we all have one thing in common, a perfect Friend. Jesus is the friend that is closer than life or breath. As we see the imperfection of earthly relationships, we have the choice of going to him for help. In prayer, we can ask for grace to forgive those who have not quite lived up to their promises our expectations. We can also receive insight into our own behaviors and be reshaped into the people we need to be.

I pray that every day we will make an effort to be the kind of friend to someone, that we would want to have.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

We are Family

The church finds it's best expression and demonstration of being the body of Christ through the corporate gathering of it's individual parts. True , a personal relationship with Christ is of the utmost importance but this is not a substitute for being part of a larger community.
We gain strength from hearing the trials and triumphs of others. I don't mean we gloat or like the Pharisee say, "I am glad I am not like other men." Rather, there is something about being in a ditch and realizing you are not the first to run off the road at that particular corner. The strength comes from seeing how the other guy hauled himself out - or who came to the rescue. In spiritual speak, Iron sharpens iron.

Christ knows this and that is why he said in his Word that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. So when you are trying to roll out of bed on the only day of the week available for you to sleep in and you are tempted to ask, "I wonder who's bright idea this was?" Its Gods.
Many of you may remember this old song:

I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God
Washed in his fountain cleansed by his blood
Joint heirs with Jesus as I travel this sod
I'm a part of the family, the family of God.

This week I hope you will choose togetherness, be a part of the family gathering in the house of the Lord.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

#Chit-chat and chocolate

Tuesday my department attended a luncheon honoring #Social Workers and #Casemanagers, Once inside the banquet hall one quickly fell into the pre-dining "scavenger hunt" atmosphere. Got to admit, I love going around a room collecting chocolate, pens, information, chocolate, business cards, chocolate ...and today was no exception. Lunch was good too. My all veggie plate was tasty, and the baklava with freshly brewed coffee, a sure sign we were not at the office anymore.
The kid in a candy store part (pun intended) came after work when I emptied out my shopping bag on the couch. Tons of stuff and most of all, piles of very good information which I think some of you might find helpful. Here goes. But let me be clear, I have no personal interest in any of these companies not even as an employee. I'm just sharing.

Interesting fact: 10,000 #Baby Boomers will turn 65 every day until 2030. This however, hardly means retirement as with the current cost of living, the work force will remain grey (or whatever hair color) for many years. Old does not start at fifty or even seventy anymore - not when there are so many people living past 100 years. This means most of us will end up being caregiver to a parent or spouse. If you are already in that challenging position, blessings on you. Need someone to talk to? Visit www.UHCCommunityPlan.com.

You can't just give away your money in order to be eligible for #Medicaid; not since 2007 at any rate. Joint account, safety deposit boxes, and transferring money between accounts all incur serious penalties and or #disqualify your loved one from receiving Medicaid. If you are not sure what may apply to your specific case, talk to an #Elder Attorney. What you don't know about Income Caps, Community Spouse and Resource Limit, can hurt you.

#Alzheimer's is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a disease like any other. Between 2000 and 2010, deaths from Alzheimer's rose by 68%. Not exactly a big secret, right?

Bayada Home Health Care, www.bayada.com, caters to #Veterans needing help to stay safely at home.  See if they are in your area. Also if you are on the West Coast, The #Senior Living Guide is chock full of  information of all kinds from attorneys to agencies.

If you have ever read my blog you probably know I am a big believer in #hospice care. If you have a family member who is believed to have less than a year to live, talk to your doctor about hospice or #palliative care. You may be really surprised to see it does not mean doing nothing or just "letting someone die."
That, in a nutshell, is the gist of the education portion of my treasure trove.

#Aging is not fun. Just too many changes and the prospect of losing strength, and for many, independence is daunting to contemplate. I am hoping a bit of planning, a lot of help from the many resources available to us, and of course God's promise to still be with us when we are old and #gray-headed, will be more than enough to navigate the golden years. Hope that goes for you too, my dear reader.
Oh by the way, I did not eat all the chocolate or hoard the pens. The stash goes with me to Jamaica next month on our #mission trip.

Monday, October 6, 2014

After the Storm

Sooner or later on this  journey called life, every traveler gets caught in a flash-flood of uncertainty.  Circumstances thunder, doubts crisscross the heavens above us and for a short eternity, we experience complete white out - or so it seems. No prayers, no joy, no particular sense of God's presence.
A curious thing happens however, if we pull away from the pressure, open our Bibles and read through the storm.  No need to try to formulate words; just let our fingers do the talking. We can echo the words of the psalms and cry out, "Lord, make haste to help...!" We may not feel like anything is happening at first but God's Word is incapable of empty deployment. If it goes forth, it MUST accomplish what it was meant to do.
When the skies clear and our way becomes visible again we can only nod in wordless agreement to Isiah 43:1,
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
Ah, here comes the Son.
 

Saturday, January 11, 2014

NOT WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR WORSHIP

Why men have stopped singing in church

Worship BandIt happened again yesterday. I was attending one of those hip, contemporary churches — and almost no one sang. Worshippers stood obediently as the band rocked out, the smoke machine belched and lights flashed. Lyrics were projected on the screen, but almost no one sang them. A few women were trying, but I saw only one male (other than the worship leader) making the attempt.
A few months ago I blogged, “Have Christians Stopped Singing?” I did some research, and learned that congregational singing has ebbed and flowed over the centuries. It reached a high tide when I was a young man – but that tide may be going out again. And that could be bad news for men.
First, a very quick history of congregational singing.
Before the Reformation, laypersons were not allowed to sing in church. They were expected to stand mute as sacred music was performed by professionals (priests and cantors), played on complex instruments (pipe organs), and sung in an obscure language (Latin).
Reformers gave worship back to the people in the form of congregational singing. They composed simple tunes that were easy to sing, and mated them with theologically rich lyrics. Since most people were illiterate in the 16th century, singing became an effective form of catechism. Congregants learned about God as they sang about God.
A technological advance – the printing press – led to an explosion of congregational singing. The first hymnal was printed in 1532, and soon a few dozen hymns became standards across Christendom. Hymnals slowly grew over the next four centuries. By the mid 20th century every Protestant church had a hymnal of about 1000 songs, 250 of which were regularly sung. In the church of my youth, everyone picked up a hymnal and sang every verse of every song.
About 20 years ago a new technological advance – the computer controlled projection screen – entered America’s sanctuaries. Suddenly churches could project song lyrics for all to see. Hymnals became obsolete. No longer were Christians limited to 1,000 songs handed down by our elders.
At first, churches simply projected the songs everyone knew – hymns and a few simple praise songs that had come out of the Jesus Movement. People sang robustly.
But that began to change about ten years ago. Worship leaders realized they could project anything on that screen. So they brought in new songs each week. They drew from the radio, the Internet, and Worship conferences. Some began composing their own songs, performing them during worship, and selling them on CD after church.
In short order we went from 250 songs everyone knows to 250,000+ songs nobody knows.
Years ago, worship leaders used to prepare their flocks when introducing a new song. “We’re going to do a new song for you now,” they would say. “We’ll go through it twice, and then we invite you to join in.”
That kind of coaching is rare today. Songs get switched out so frequently that it’s impossible to learn them. People can’t sing songs they’ve never heard. And with no musical notes to follow, how is a person supposed to pick up the tune?
And so the church has returned to the 14th century. Worshippers stand mute as professional-caliber musicians play complex instruments, sung in an obscure language. Martin Luther is turning over in his grave.
What does this mean for men? On the positive side, men no longer feel pressure to sing in church. Men who are poor readers or poor singers no longer have to fumble through hymnals, sing archaic lyrics or read a musical staff.
But the negatives are huge. Men are doers, and singing was one of the things we used to do together in church. It was a chance to participate. Now, with congregational singing going away, and communion no longer a weekly ordinance, there’s only one avenue left for men to participate in the service – the offering. Is this really the message we want to send to men? Sit there, be quiet, and enjoy the show. And don’t forget to give us money.
There’s nothing wrong with professionalism and quality in church music. The problem isn’t the rock band, or the lights, or the smoke machine. The key is familiarity. People enjoy singing songs they know.
How do I know? When that super-hip band performed a hymn, the crowd responded with gusto. People sang. Even the men.

Friday, January 10, 2014

How about a #Sandwich?

Whats your favorite sandwich? PB &J, BLT, corned been on rye? Mine was a Reuben until I stopped eating meat and created a "Ruby" to fill the gap. The point is, when we think of a sandwich we think only of the joy of eating. There is however, a group of people to whom the word means crisis, anxiety, and painful reminders of  their own mortality.
I am quoting this definition from Wiki but there are several scholarly sources for those who wish to pursue the topic.
"The #Sandwich generation is a generation of people who care for their #aging parents while supporting their own children.
According to the Pew Research Center, just over 1 of every 8 Americans aged 40 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent, in addition to between 7 to 10 million adults #caring for their #aging #parents from a long distance. US Census Bureau statistics indicate that the number of older Americans aged 65 or older will double by the year 2030, to over 70 million.
Carol Abaya categorized the different scenarios involved in being a part of the sandwich generation.
  • Traditional: those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children.
  • Club Sandwich: those in their 50s or 60s sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren, or those in their 30s and 40s, with young children, aging parents and grandparents.
  • Open Faced: anyone else involved in #elder care."
The pressures are intense because of the pull to give 100% in three directions - parent, children, and to the significant other. The shift from child to "parenting the parent" creates it's own difficulty. The sandwiched person often labor under intense guilt feelings because they think they are not honoring their parents as they should. At the same time, there is no second chance to be present in the lives of the caregivers' children if those opportunities are not embraced before kids are too old to for it to matter.
Naturally, many marriages become stressed to breaking point especially when there is no other option but to move the aging and ailing into the nuclear family. What if anything can the "Filling" do to avoid being completely flattened by circumstances?
1.Be realistic - you cannot do everything. Decide what are your absolutes - things you must do and what is okay to ask someone else to take off your hands.
2. Get help - there are government agencies that can provide a couple hours help to bathe and feed or even take your loved one to doctors appointments. Besides, many churches have volunteers; know your resources.
3. Accept the role of decision maker completely. If your loved one is cognitively impaired don't expect rational decisions or expectations on their part. They will not know your are stretched to the limit or fully appreciate you are doing all you can. You have to be the one to set and maintain boundaries.
4. If there are siblings, try to get everyone involved in some aspect of the care-giving duties. Most importantly, don't wait until your parent is in the hospital before deciding on #long-term care and end of life issues.
5. Learn to carve out "me " time - it does not have to be a whole summer vacation. An hour with a friend, a walk in the evening, a quiet place for prayer and meditation. Anywhere, anytime where you can be alone to breathe. By the same token, seek support. You are not the only one going through this season as the statics clearly show. Find a support group.
6. Remember to take care of you while caring for everyone else. Eating, sleeping, exercise ... there as needful for you as for your family. Who knows? On wicked hard days when your energy and optimism are at their lowest and you need a hand up your favorite sandwich may just do the trick.